Here are some jokes and i hope you enjoy them.


Q: What did the caveman say when he walked into the bar.

A: Ouch!!!!


One day a college professor was greeting his new college class. He stood up in front of the class and asked if anyone in the class was a moron, and if they were, they should stand.

After a minute a young man stood up. The professor then asked the kid if he actually thought he was a moron. The kid replied, "No, I just didn't want to see you standing there all by yourself."



A Sunday school teacher was discussing the Ten Commandments with her five and six year olds. After explaining the commandment to "Honor thy father and thy mother," she asked, "Is there a commandment that teaches us how to treat our brothers and sisters?" Without missing a beat, one little boy answered, "Thou shall not kill."



Three boys are in the school yard bragging about their fathers. The first boy says, "My Dad scribbles a few words on a piece of paper, he calls it a poem, they give him $50." The second boy says, "That's nothing. My Dad scribbles a few words on piece of paper, he calls it a song, they give him $100." The third boy says, "I got you both beat. My Dad scribbles a few words on a piece of paper, he calls it a sermon, and it takes eight people to collect all the money!"



Two blondes were sitting in colorado when one asks the other "Which do you think is closer the moon or florida?" The other one replies "helllooooooooo.... Can you see florida?"



once there were three men named shut up, trouble, and, stupid. The three men were driving down the freeway once and trouble fell out of the window. 50 miles later a police officer pulls them over for speeding. the police officer asks for their names and the two say shut up stupid. Then, the police officer says 'are you looking for trouble' and they say, yaeh, we lost him 50 miles back



 An elderly man was driving down the freeway when his cell phone rang. He answered it and it was his wife. She said, "Be careful, honey! I heard on the news that there is a car driving backwards on the freeway!"

The elderly man responds, "It's not just one car... it's all of them!!!"



Dear Dog...

I am soooo sorry about you being sent to the dog pound for the broken lamp which you did not break; the fish you did not spill; and the carpet that you did not wet; or the wall that you did not dirty with red paint... But things here at the house really are calmer now, I hope there are no hard feelings sucker.

Best regards,

The Cat